Creative Anxiety: Broadening Your Minds Eye!

Monday, October 21, 2013

Broadening Your Minds Eye!

It's a new day! Be grateful!

Today I feel GRATEFUL. Something I think we often forget about. We say thank you and once in a while remember all of the good things in our life. But as a society, I think that we do a really bad job of staying connected and in the moment. In turn then, I think we forget to REALLY stop and smell the roses. There is nothing better than making yourself slyly smile as you think about a handful of things that you are truly grateful for.

As I talked about before, I had been struggling to get my anxiety and depression to a good spot. I never felt connected and I always felt like I was on the 'outside' of the good times, just sitting there watching everyone else have the laughter and fun. Why is it so hard to just join in, let loose, and be free in the moment. Well like I mentioned in the last post it's because we (those who struggle with deeper mental struggles) tend to really, truly suck our own fun right out from underneath us. We do this by living in a vicious cycle of 'what if's". It's truly easy to sit there and think about all of the bad, especially if your brain is now more accustomed to that.

You see, it is possible to gain control of your negative thoughts, your lifeless attempts at joining the fun, and in turn your hum-ho life that your just struggling through instead of actually enjoying.

This is my challenge I've begun with myself over the last few weeks:
I have simple started to integrate things into my life that I know for a fact make me happy. The things that if even for 4 minutes while engaged in them, I think of NOTHING. Nothing bad, nothing sad...truly nothing. I have started to see myself doing more photography, rearranging items in my house and sprucing it up with simple little treasures, and planning small little get togethers with friends or family (and making myself excited about it!) You see these are things that leave me with a feeling of euphoria after they are completed. I lost interest in doing those, along with so many others due to my state of mind and constant dread of basically all things in life. I am now slowly but surely finding myself getting 'lost' in these little pleasures in life once again and then either journal or think about each things I'm grateful for every evening.

SO now it's your turn...
Do you feel a bit more relaxed will cutting the grass? Do you like to sit in a quiet room and paint? How about cooking...does that make you feel good and accomplished? Whether it be a simple thing around the house or you decide to pick up a new hobby like remote control cars, yoga, or knitting - I challenge you to start putting these things back into your weeks. Find a time slot to keep for 'yourself' and just do it. You may feel reluctant, uneasy, or like you don't have time for something so trivial. But I guarantee if you start soul searching and finding something that makes you feel 'lost' even just for a bit, you will see yourself finding joy in life again.

Once you do this, begin to journal how it makes you feel, remember you're not going to feel like a brand new person by tomorrow morning...it takes WORK! But journal (another way to get it all out of your head), show your gratitude, and see how you can bring light back into your life!

Please post here about your journey, your chosen 'enlightenments,' your life...
If you have questions or comments or want more advice...ASK! I'm here. :)

I hope this post leaves you all on a path of happiness and that you truly try your darndest at it...because I am seeing such great progress with myself, so I know you can find peace too!

☮- M

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The girls who started it all...and their stories.

Well hello there! My name is Megan and here’s my little tale:

It’s safe to say that the person I am today is a far different one than I was many years ago. As many of you know, dealing with anxiety seems like an uphill battle some days, and I’ve felt like for most of my life I have been struggling to get to the top of that hill to safety. My anxiety started very young and mainly revolved around the constant fear of something medical going wrong with me. I was definitely a hypochondriac, and gave myself unnecessary amounts of anxiety over little to nothing at times. After passing out a few times due to seeing my own blood, both fainting and blood became huge triggers for me. This led me to avoid many situations, namely doctors’ offices, etc. My anxious symptoms were like that of fainting or having a heart attack and at any given time, I felt like my world was crashing and I was about to die.

…which brings me to my next chapter with the “beast”. By the way, I call anxiety the “beast” because it truly takes on its own entity at times. Anyhow, my next chapter is one of quite the lengthy time frame. It was all exacerbated when one day a tragedy hit close to home. My dad had got into a motorcycle accident and died instantly. This, as for anyone, sent my world spinning at the speed of light. It was then that my fear of death and dying amplified. I was constantly feeling sick, or like an 80 pound elephant was sitting on my chest. I didn’t know what I was feeling, nor did I really talk to anybody about it, which made it worse. Junior high, high school, and even my first few years at the junior college were plagued by constant worry; self esteem issues, horrible panic attacks, and so on. I somehow managed to make it through as normal as possible but I was hurting on the inside and most definitely not living a full life.

Once I went away to college my anxiety had stabilized. It was by no means gone, but for some reason it had subsided to a point of decent comfort. Those few years were as relaxed as they could be, and life seemed to be pretty good. It wasn’t until about a year ago that the “beast” began to really rear its ugly head again. This time it was back tenfold, however, and I was determined to find a happy place…one of comfort and happiness. And that my friends is where I’m at today, trying to find a true life of bliss. This last year has been a hard one, but through a lot of self discovery and branching out into new avenues, I am slowly piecing together what works best for me. So far I have found inner strength through trying new things such as yoga, supplements, and creative outlets such as photography, dance, and art. My hopes in build a community through Creative Anxiety is that I can reach out to others who strive to better themselves and others who deal with this unfortunate beast.

Hi there, I’m Chrissy!

My journey with anxiety has been a long one (or so it feels), dating back to when I was in high school. I had been struggling for a while in social settings and changes, but had chopped it up to being an average teenager. It was my first anxiety attack that painted a clearer picture as to what I had been dealing with. And so began the journey…

My first attack was something I will never forget and has created a foundation for where I stand today. My first attack also explains a lot of my history and was a breakthrough for me in getting the necessary help I needed at the time. It was triggered by a past traumatic experience. When I was fourteen I had been raped. The setting in which it took place was visually recreated which induced my first and most horrific panic/anxiety attack. This was a breakthrough in a lot of ways for me. I had not told anyone, spoken about it or personally revisited the memory for four years until that day. When my family was informed I gained the support I needed to start my battle against ANXIETY!

After learning what anxiety was, how it works and being fed drug after drug by doctor after doctor I was really getting nowhere. I was feeling zombie-esque on the medicine, having bad withdrawals and feeling sedated for the majority of the time. This is when I decided to take a different path.

See…my brain automatically links my anxiety now to being raped and the feelings that were felt in that situation. It is such a feeling of disgust and helplessness that motivate me to free myself. I have problems in social situations and trusting others with anything and everything. I have a fear of being attacked, which feeds my anxiety daily in everyday situations and the constant negative self-talk is something I have to keep battling.

I have really two choices (the way I see it)…I can either lay down and feel sorry for what was and what now is or I can fight like hell to live the BEST life I can possibly live. I’ve chosen to fight! I believe there is a fix for this thing we all call ANXIETY and I am determined to find it. Through trial and error, trial and success and a lot of support I believe it is something that is attainable. Holistic, drug free, all natural healthy ways to heal is what I’m all about. So let this new journey begin in sharing what I’ve learned with other who might have walked in my shoes or who choose to walk right alongside me. Let’s fight on!