Creative Anxiety: Panic Stricken

Friday, October 12, 2012

Panic Stricken

Hey all, it's M!

Just wanted to stop in and share a story. This afternoon while on the tail end of my work day, I started to feel as though I couldn't breath (what's new?) and I let the feeling carry me away. I was having negative thought after negative thought, and it spun me into a full blown panic attack. What if I have diabetes and my sugar is out of whack? I know it! My brain doesn't have enough oxygen because I'm so tensed up and I'm going to have a stroke.........

As many of you know once this happens, forget about it, you are lost inside of your own head. I began to get dizzy, felt shaky, and really thought I was going down (a huge fear of mine!) right in the middle of taking care of all of these children. I somehow managed to get through the last 15 minutes in shear panic and made it to my car....sadly I didn't feel like bothering anyone with my petty moment and loss of control! (which is a place I fall short many times...if I could talk about it more freely with more people these issues wouldn't feel so daunting. This is why we want to spread more awareness!)

It was then that it hit me! Why did I let my thoughts take that one single body sensation that far? I know better than that, and I could have stopped it sooner. These are the pitfalls that happen to us, those who truly grapple with anxiety and who need the wires in their brain reworked. Once I got to my car I had enough sense to stop myself and do what I needed to do to get myself down. First of all changing my environment helped and distracted my brain enough to let some of the negativity melt. Then I began to stretch my arms, neck, and back to get some blood flowing (always makes me feel better). Lastly I began positive affirmations such as: My anxiety is making me feel this way. I am safe and okay. I can breath.

Within a few minutes of doing this, my level of rushed panic had dropped and I was on my way to safety. It wasn't until I got home however, that I completely let the adrenaline in my body flood back out. When I got home I continued to destress my mind and body by jotting some thoughts and feelings I've had throughout the day that could have led to this outbreak of panic. I then lit one of my favorite candles, listened to a few of my favorite songs, and laid quietly with myself and some more positive affirmations.

The POWER of the brain and POSITIVITY is amazing. Give it the right fuel and you can with out a doubt have a very well oiled machine. Does it take work? Sure! But it's much better having to actively work on the positive everyday, then living in negativity and being distraught all day, everyday. This chart shows how panic can creep into your system, and helps me visualize it better, and how to stop it in its tracks more concisely.

So feeling off, sad, or panicked this week or ever? Go find what works for you! Start with our challenge of journaling to better understand your triggers and way of thinking! BE PROACTIVE! Also please feel free to comment, private email, or share your stories of anxiety and panic with us!

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The girls who started it all...and their stories.

Well hello there! My name is Megan and here’s my little tale:

It’s safe to say that the person I am today is a far different one than I was many years ago. As many of you know, dealing with anxiety seems like an uphill battle some days, and I’ve felt like for most of my life I have been struggling to get to the top of that hill to safety. My anxiety started very young and mainly revolved around the constant fear of something medical going wrong with me. I was definitely a hypochondriac, and gave myself unnecessary amounts of anxiety over little to nothing at times. After passing out a few times due to seeing my own blood, both fainting and blood became huge triggers for me. This led me to avoid many situations, namely doctors’ offices, etc. My anxious symptoms were like that of fainting or having a heart attack and at any given time, I felt like my world was crashing and I was about to die.

…which brings me to my next chapter with the “beast”. By the way, I call anxiety the “beast” because it truly takes on its own entity at times. Anyhow, my next chapter is one of quite the lengthy time frame. It was all exacerbated when one day a tragedy hit close to home. My dad had got into a motorcycle accident and died instantly. This, as for anyone, sent my world spinning at the speed of light. It was then that my fear of death and dying amplified. I was constantly feeling sick, or like an 80 pound elephant was sitting on my chest. I didn’t know what I was feeling, nor did I really talk to anybody about it, which made it worse. Junior high, high school, and even my first few years at the junior college were plagued by constant worry; self esteem issues, horrible panic attacks, and so on. I somehow managed to make it through as normal as possible but I was hurting on the inside and most definitely not living a full life.

Once I went away to college my anxiety had stabilized. It was by no means gone, but for some reason it had subsided to a point of decent comfort. Those few years were as relaxed as they could be, and life seemed to be pretty good. It wasn’t until about a year ago that the “beast” began to really rear its ugly head again. This time it was back tenfold, however, and I was determined to find a happy place…one of comfort and happiness. And that my friends is where I’m at today, trying to find a true life of bliss. This last year has been a hard one, but through a lot of self discovery and branching out into new avenues, I am slowly piecing together what works best for me. So far I have found inner strength through trying new things such as yoga, supplements, and creative outlets such as photography, dance, and art. My hopes in build a community through Creative Anxiety is that I can reach out to others who strive to better themselves and others who deal with this unfortunate beast.

Hi there, I’m Chrissy!

My journey with anxiety has been a long one (or so it feels), dating back to when I was in high school. I had been struggling for a while in social settings and changes, but had chopped it up to being an average teenager. It was my first anxiety attack that painted a clearer picture as to what I had been dealing with. And so began the journey…

My first attack was something I will never forget and has created a foundation for where I stand today. My first attack also explains a lot of my history and was a breakthrough for me in getting the necessary help I needed at the time. It was triggered by a past traumatic experience. When I was fourteen I had been raped. The setting in which it took place was visually recreated which induced my first and most horrific panic/anxiety attack. This was a breakthrough in a lot of ways for me. I had not told anyone, spoken about it or personally revisited the memory for four years until that day. When my family was informed I gained the support I needed to start my battle against ANXIETY!

After learning what anxiety was, how it works and being fed drug after drug by doctor after doctor I was really getting nowhere. I was feeling zombie-esque on the medicine, having bad withdrawals and feeling sedated for the majority of the time. This is when I decided to take a different path.

See…my brain automatically links my anxiety now to being raped and the feelings that were felt in that situation. It is such a feeling of disgust and helplessness that motivate me to free myself. I have problems in social situations and trusting others with anything and everything. I have a fear of being attacked, which feeds my anxiety daily in everyday situations and the constant negative self-talk is something I have to keep battling.

I have really two choices (the way I see it)…I can either lay down and feel sorry for what was and what now is or I can fight like hell to live the BEST life I can possibly live. I’ve chosen to fight! I believe there is a fix for this thing we all call ANXIETY and I am determined to find it. Through trial and error, trial and success and a lot of support I believe it is something that is attainable. Holistic, drug free, all natural healthy ways to heal is what I’m all about. So let this new journey begin in sharing what I’ve learned with other who might have walked in my shoes or who choose to walk right alongside me. Let’s fight on!